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Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
I like to sit outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"
That person who waits to the last minute to change lanes and expects you to make room. NOT ON MY WATCH!
When i am bored, i like parking along side the xpressway stick a hair dryer out the window, and watch everyone slam on their brakes.
How will you survive a zombie apocalypse if you scream & run when you see a spider?
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn’t seem so bad now.
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
Sometimes not being in control is the most awesome feeling in the world.
There just isn`t enough make-up in this world to cover up crazy.
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
The most frustrating thing I`ve ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
As I get older, I`ve learned to relax and not stress over trivial matters. Just kidding, I`m drunk.
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
Microsoft Excel has got to be the worlds worst video game.