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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching.
The 21st century. When deleting history is more important than making it.
I miss that feeling you`d get at the video store when you discovered the movie you wanted to rent was available.
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
I burn bridges to keep those crazy bastards from following me.
It’s never too late for a coffee. After all it’s always morning somewhere in the world.
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
When you leave store without buying anything and all you can think is `keep calm, you`re innocent`.
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
I`m a nonviolent person until I see a spider. Then I turn into Al Capone and "I want him DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burned to the GROUND!
The only toys I was allowed to play with in the tub were the dirty dishes.
Pizza doesn’t ask questions. Pizza understands.
Next time you take your dog for a walk, dress like a cop & pretend to be searching the neighborhood for drugs.
When there is nothing to do ... That`s what I do