Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m not drunk, I’m just exhausted from drinking all night.
I was feeling down...then all of a sudden I felt myself up. Win, win situation! ;)
That Awkward Moment when you Greet you Brother on some random website. Brett to Daniel. sup Lerch!
I`m at my neighbor`s house having a delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home.
Hey people who say I am boring and not interesting; FYI the police just called saying they want to talk to me because I am "a person of interest"
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
I can`t be the only one who thinks "Game on, mother f*cker" when I see an air freshner in a bathroom.
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
If anyone has any terrible ideas, I`ve historically been very open to them.
If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of chickens, you are a chicken tender.
The Ex is bringing my kids back home. Time to strategically place the panties I bought from Victoria`s secret around the house.
My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.
I`m disgusted by the thought of people updating their status while sitting on the toilet like I am right now.
If you’re so much better than the leading brand then why are you not the leading brand?
I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..