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In my head I sound like the Queen of England bitches!
Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard. My second thought is virgin wizard.
SPOILER ALERT for "Finding Bigfoot" TV show - they don`t find him. Again.
I`d be vegetarian ... if bacon grew on trees.
I`m reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
As i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death i was like what da f**k am i doin here
Hot singles in your area are dating each other while you sit alone staring at your phone.
I`m going to start a band called "Free Beer" because when people see a sign that says "Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM" everyone is going to be there.
If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it`s an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island.
Missed connection: I was a 15 year old boy, you were 1984 Madonna.
Baking soda seems like a scam. "Be sure to keep this box of magic white powder in the back of your refrigerator."
Send me one more game request and I`m showing up at your house drunk, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister