Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Haters are my motivators(:
If you`re out running in jeans, I`m gonna go ahead and assume you just participated in a felony.
If you don`t have anything nice to say I would probably enjoy spending time with you
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
I think I’m allergic to mornings.
I think...therefore, I am.....single
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
you can´t drink all day if you don´t start in the morning
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes, could you pick me up some booze on your way back?
According to the police, public masturbation is not considered a "street performance". Even if you have a hat on the ground on front of you.
Jealous women do better research then the FBI. True story.
I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the sh!t out of each other because it`s negative.
Carrots may be good for your eyes, but alcohol will double your vision.
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!