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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense.
It’s annoying when Netflix keeps stopping to buffer. Stupid neighbors just won’t upgrade their WiFi.
I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes.
I accidentally called 911, so I set my house on fire so I wouldn`t look stupid.
Roughly 82% of my day is trying to decide what my next meal will be
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,it`s given me another reason to stare.
Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, if that doesn`t accurately describe my life I don`t know what does
Don´t be stupid, it´s not smart.
If guys had periods, they´d brag about the size of their tampons.
There are people on Facebook who don`t realize the difference between "What`s on your mind" or "I should talk to a therapist about this"
“I wonder how much weight I’ve lost.” -Me, after eating one healthy meal.
I wonder if pet products are tested on humans?
Violence is never the answer. Unless the question is `What is never the answer?`
Its so cold outside I might even post about it on Facebook