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Nipples (noun) - the body`s way of telling you the weather
Oh, you think you have relationship problems? Try separating me from my bed in the morning...
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" - 17th century sext
Just took a shower. You have no idea how hard it was to sneak that thing out of Home Depot.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on again?
When Life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide.
My goal this weekend is to move just enough each day so that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead
Single ladies, stop saying you should just give up & get a cat , if no man wants you , don`t force an innocent cat to live with you..
Look Bruce, just because you call it the "Batcave" doesn`t change the fact that you still live in your parents basement.
Don`t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
If your girlfriends cat gets eaten by an angry pitbul terrier, gently singing "The circle of life" into her ear WILL NOT cheer her up.
I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision.
Nothing is truly lost until your mom can`t find it.
Learned a lesson from my dog tonight ... No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better status than yours!