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I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics...So glad I found you all.
Sometimes I get nervous I haven`t done anything with my life. But then something good comes on TV, and I`m OK.
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
Don`t sugar-coat it, I`ll just lick that off....
Wish some of my co workers weren`t allowed in the break room... Because that`s who I usually need a break from.
If you`re not employed by the Secret Service, there is absolutely no reason to have a Bluetooth on your ear.
Silence is Golden, unless you`re married.. Then Silence is Suspicious.
I`m not funny, I`m just kidding u
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
You seem to have a good grip on reality. You`re new here, aren`t you?
Sorry I missed your call ... I was to busy singing and dancing to the ringtone
Ever noticed that `beer can` in a british accent sounds exactly like `bacon` in a jamaican accent?
My butt decided to go big instead of go home.