Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Adam: Eve, you read the terms and conditions before using that Apple product right? Eve: Uh yeah, totally
My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.
Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket, you`re proably not gonna win, but you`re sure as hell gonna try!
Somewhere someone`s therapist knows you.
Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
Life is not a garden so quit being a hoe
“Knock him out.” – Mama
Seems like we would be just fine with about half as many types of pasta
I followed my heart...Now I`m at the liquor store.
If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don`t think this relationship is going to work.
I just want to be perfect... Nah just kidding, I love being weird
Marriage...betting someone half your stuff you`ll love them forever.
At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
If you’re so much better than the leading brand then why are you not the leading brand?
Sometimes I wonder if I could get away with murder, but then I remember I can’t even eat pancakes without getting syrup all over me.