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my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
I give myself the best presents.
For parents of small children, weekends are about as relaxing as showering with cats.
Well...today is the day. Just gotta build up the nerve to tell my dog she is adopted.
I`m getting older but I still have my moments...though I don`t always remember where I put them
When Life Gives You Lemons Don`t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don`t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life`s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I`m the man who`s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I`m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
If adult diapers are called Depends, then baby diapers should be called Definitely!!
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
"When I grow up, I want to marry a man addicted to video games" ~ No woman ever.
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
People say I`m too patronising (that means I treat them as if they`re stupid).
Just spent like 5 hours talking to my neighbor about his garden and long story short, turns out it was just a f*cking scarecrow.