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I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
People hate the truth. Luckily, the Truth doesn`t give a $#!t.
I bet sex is great when I`m not the only one in the room.
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
"Just so you know, you`re coming home with me tonight." I whisper to all the leftover food on the table from our dinner date.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets
1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2.
A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it`s fun to push things down the stairs.
a walk in the woods helps me to relax and release tension the fact that I`m dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant.
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
I`m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
I saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as "grabbing for swirling dollars inside a Plexiglas Cash Cube."
If cats could text you back, they wouldn`t.
My plans for GTA 5: Beat the crap outta people, Steal a cops gun, Jack a convertible, Rob a bank, Jump off a building, Go to GameStop, Buy GTA 5