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The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day ... Palm Sunday is just around the corner
Every time I walk into a singles bar, I can hear Mom`s wise words: "Don`t pick that up!! You don`t know where it`s been!!"
Do you know what’d look good on you? Me
Sorry I can`t go out tonight, I can`t find anyone to cover my Facebook shift.
Don’t get your panties in a bunch. The nicer ones are sold individually.
Does anyone have plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?
Sorry I`m late. I had five cups of coffee and became convinced I could probably bend a fork with my mind, so I had to give it an honest try.
What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
That one-day popularity on Facebook because it’s your birthday.
I’ve never met a weekend that I didn’t like.
If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they`ve been drinking in order to establish dominance.
I don`t always do a lot, but I put a lot of thought into it.
The problem with money is too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
Hope dogs are kissing us and not trying to see if we started tasting good yet.