Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Still waiting for a Discovery Channel "How It`s Made" episode on babies.
I`m surprised more killers haven`t lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial
This status is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.
If I owned an auto collision shop, I’d name it “Auto Correct.”
When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just "Morning," don`t be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ "Noon." Seriously, what did ya expect?
I don´t like people who can´t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I`m fat and can`t run for more than 2 minutes.
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don`t think of until too late
I ordered some bubble wrap online. It arrived in a box surrounded by packing peanuts.
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
I may be crazy but I say if you can`t talk to yourself, who can you talk to.
If you hold a 40oz bottle to your ear you can hear the ghetto.
Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids. Now I`m older, I like mine in the bottle
Sometimes I think "Screw this ... I`ll just be a stripper!"