Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Starting an international incident is number one on my bucket list.
Idk what was worse, the fact that my girlfriend text me saying “sorry breaking up with you” or that a minute later she text me back “sorry wrong number.”
Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can`t remember what they are.
Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don`t mix.
The filling in this fortune cookies tastes like paper...
No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don`t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
Yes I am a bad boy ... But your the one that`s going to get spanked.
If I say “it’s a great day to be alive,” it’s because those are literally my only plans.
A lie is a great story that someone ruined with the truth.
The "I got your nose" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she`ll call security.
To all the NSA agents reading this right now, I just want to say sorry that my life is so boring.
I want to grow my own food but I can`t find any bacon seeds.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Can I use my Mastercard to make my Visa payment?