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Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
I`m sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
Premature ejaculation and hide and seek have one thing in common. 1 2 3 ready or not here I come.
Laugh now, but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world
No matter how old you are ... swingsets are cool.
It`s a little disappointing when you`re watching a school basket ball game & no one turns into a werewolf.
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
Women can brutally and methodically destroy your life. But they let you see their tits along the way so it`s totally cool.
I may be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid.
Its not you, it`s how you don`t make me sandwiches.
I’ve never pretended to be anything I’m not…except for sober. I’ve pretended to be sober a few times.
It`s hard to look like a bad-ass when you`re slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn`t be allowed to talk
you know it`s a good fart when it wakes you from a dead sleep and you pull a butt muscle at the same time.
Live each day like someone else is paying for drinks