Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Simmer down joggers running in place at a stop light, simmer down.
It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
My boss just asked me why I wasn`t working.. ..i told em cuz I didn`t see him coming
Marriage. When dating goes too far.
Miley Cyrus could never live in the kind of cold we`re having here. Can you imagine all the poles her tounge would get stuck to?
FACT: Candy corn is made out of melted down traffic cones.
Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
According to Pinterest, I`m severely under-utilizing mason jars.
Morning comes in 3 sizes: 1) Early. 2) Too early. 3) Way too early
You can usually judge a women`s hotness by how many times your girlfriend calls her a whore.
Everytime I see a person jogging I already know they have facebook, everyone on facebook works out.
Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?
Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me.
Today I´m going to entertain the kids with a game of duct, duct, tape.