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What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
Sex is great, but.....Have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?!?!
Why is there a show called βWhen animals attackβ? It should be called βWhen stupid people go near dangerous animals.β
I`m not a doctor but I play one on Match.com
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person.
My pants are 75% off.
I live in constant fear that someone will kidnap my mother in law who lives all alone at 48 W Main St, bldg C, Apt 32 on the 3rd floor.
I just found a piece of pizza in my trash can. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!!
I hate lying to kids but my daughter asked me what twerking was and I told her it was when identical twins go to each others` jobs
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment...
Just when you want to be a good person again , someone new to stalk shows up
If "Cops" has taught me anything it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces, they`re nothing but trouble...
Only YOU, can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.