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Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
In honor of St. Patrick`s Day, I`m going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
What`s the lowest IQ someone can have while still being a relatively full functioning adult? My wife wants to know.
Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
I`m really good at making poor decisions. You`re my favorite so far.
Think of me as an idea. A really, really bad idea.
When I drink alcohol.. everyone says I`m an alcoholic. But.. When I drink Fanta.. no one says I`m fantastic.
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
A dozen roses: $12, a box of chocolates: $10, a Happy Valentines Day card: $2, still having $24 dollars because you`re single: priceless!
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.
If I notice an unfinished jigsaw puzzle at some`s house, I always take a piece home with me.
Sometimes, entire relationships can be chalked up to, "that weird thing I did for a while."
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.