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Admit it at some point in your life you have tried to close the fridge slowly to see when the light goes out...
The hardest part about being rejected is that I end up liking them even more as a person for their ability to make great decisions.
Facebook: Proving that just because you have an opinion doesn`t mean you should share it.
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS...
they say "money cant buy happiness" but money pays for my internet connection and my vodka so im thinking maybe "they" are wrong
I’d like to hang out, but that would get in the way of me being home and doing absolutely nothing.
The only human interaction I want for the rest of the day is the exchange of money between me and the liquor store cashier
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
How do Amish girls know if it`s a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular one #DeepThoughts
You can`t control who comes into your life. But you can control which window you throw them out of.
Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesturday, yesturday you were pretty f*cking annoying.
Here is a thought for all you mind readers out there…
Saw a wasp in a spider web and I don`t know who to root for.
If my grandmother were alive today, I`m pretty sure she`d still have her blinker on.