Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The phrase "don`t take this the wrong way" has zero % success rate
Once I`m finished with this last container of Cool Whip, I will be the proud owner of a complete set of salad bowls.
I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say "He`s in a better place now."
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
I could be a morning person if morning happened after 11.
I`m glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I`m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
Not so great minds also think alike.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
What idiot called him Alexander Graham Bell instead of Lord of the Rings
I can`t wait to miss the upcoming season of American Idol.
Thanks to the words “dude”, “bro”, and “man”, I haven’t said my best friends name in 10 years.