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Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
Haters are my motivators(:
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then go find somebody whose life gave them vodka and throw a party.
The one good thing about an egotist. They don`t talk about other people.
Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said "May I please have a cigarette?". I can`t believe kids this age are already so polite.
I feel like water solves all problems. Wanna lose weight? drink water .. clear face ? Drink water.. Tired of your better half? Drown them
I was planning to do something today, but I haven’t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
When my kids grow up, I’m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I’m bored & then just leave!
I have a lot on my plate right now. Not busy, just hungry.
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the “ABCs” in my head to remember which letter comes next.
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
Given enough coffee, I believe I could rule the world.
There was no bonus fry at the bottom of the bag. But the story has a happy ending. I found it later in my sports bra.
when in Rome get naked ;)