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If you`re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer.....me trying not to drop a child
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
Just washed my car with the squeegee at the gas station.
A child`s purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
If you trip and are about to fall on the ground yell "He`s got a gun!" and then you`ll look like a cool hero.
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
When you`re a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you`re an adult, they`re considered immature.
Bananas are the strippers of the fruit world.
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"
Thought I saw a kangaroo today but turned out to be a greyhound having a dump !
The restraining order doesn`t mean we can`t hangout. It just says I can`t get within 50 ft of you. So you wanna play catch or frisbee or something?
If you think buying condoms is awkward, you should try returning them.