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I’m trusting a whole lot of people not to randomly murder me throughout the day.
Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business" always be followed by, "but"?
I need coffee in my life more than I need most people.
If listening to stupid people burned calories, I`d be a supermodel.
I`m placing myself in "time-out" until I`m able to play nice with others! This may take a few hours as there are stupid people everywhere!
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a beer while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care..
if you were 2 times as smart as you are now ... you would still be stupid
?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
I am a very very very bad influence ... In a good way.
Why do single women take dating advice from other single women? That`s like Stevie Wonder giving driving directions to Ray Charles.
I like how Reese`s come with two peanut butter cups in the package. That way I can eat one now and then the other one right afterwards.
Saw a brand new Prius totaled on my way home from work. Still had the window sticker. That would suck... Not to crash, but to drive a Prius.
Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
I like to finish other people’s sentences because my version is better.