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Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it.
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
I need new swear words.
I’m classically trained in the art of Nintendo.
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
Is it just me, or does this gravy I made taste like scotch? Anyway, best Thanksgiving EVER!
If being an a$$hole was a professional sport, my face would be on a box of wheaties.
I told everybody at work that I`ve got 18 cats just to make sure none of them ever want to come over for anything.
Don`t be ashamed of who you are. That`s your parents job.
Waldo’s mom must be worried sick.
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
I’m so happy people can’t hear what I’m thinking.
I just want to be rich enough to tell my boss, "you`re not the boss of me"!
Can you make garlic bread out of frozen waffles? Asking for someone who wishes they had remembered garlic bread at the store.
New parent: I can`t believe how awesome my baby is. 10 years later: Wow, they sure do grow up fast...10 years later: Seriously, get the f*ck out of my house!!