Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Those of you who say “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” don’t really get how the whole “dead” thing works, do you?
I pack an hour before leaving for a trip but unpacks 3 months after coming home
You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
When I was a kid, I used to sing, `A, B, C,D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P`
my boss told me to start the presentation with a joke,so I showed my payslip.
I`m pretty sure there`s a chip in my car that turns all traffic lights RED...
My mother in law called me today and said? ”Come quick. I think I’m dying” I said, ”Call me back when you’re sure”.
Wives give sound advice. 99% sound, 1% advice.
How old do I have to be when I can start pulling in front of cars without looking?
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
Do you women realize how silly you all look with your clothes on?
A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn`t eat.
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."
be smart, pretend to be stupid!