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You know it`s good advice, when your still confused afterwards.
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
I don’t even know what I don’t know.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "lottery winner".
If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
If I were Noah, I’d be grabbing two of every bottle of alcohol
According to new research, too much sex can cause memory loss. Finally, something that explains my ultra detailed photographic memory.
Sorry I can`t make it to your party tonight- I have to get up REALLY early tomorrow afternoon.
Deaf people don`t have safe words, they use stop signs.
We`ll be friends `til we`re old and senile ... Then we`ll be new friends.
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science
Research shows that 100% of the time when someone says “oh no she didn’t!” she most definitely did.