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A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
I got some new underwear. Well, new to me...
When a bird bangs into your window, do you wonder if God is playing angry birds
If a bra is called an `over the shoulder bolder holder`, then what would you call men underwear? Under the butt nut hut
I hate people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Their so stupid…….
Apparently when a trainer asks you why you want to get in shape and you answer "revenge" it will raise a couple eyebrows.
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
Yes, I realize I’m leaving early. But don’t forget, I also came in late.
Please drink responsibly this weekend and don`t drink and dri......Wait this is Facebook, most of you probably won`t leave the house! ... Good talk!
Some people have to learn lessons the hard way. Like with a bat. A bat is hard.
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders.
I hate driving so much that I even ring for taxis on grand theft auto.
I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...`That looks tasty, I`m gonna eat that.`