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I’m single by choice. Not my choice, but still a choice!
Have some fun with your life...call in sick to places you dont even work at.
I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me "sweetie" too.
The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
You learn something new everyday and if you didnt know that then you just did.
Thank you Super Bowl for reminding all Americans how bad we really are at understanding Roman numerals
I`m not crazy I`m just special! No wait maybe I am crazy.. One second, I have to talk to myself about this hold on...
I think eating is my kind of sport.
I`m not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.
I want it all and I want it delivered.
The differance between flirting and sexual harrassment ... If you`re attrative, it`s flirting.
You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.
The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
I wish the minutes after hitting the snooze button lasted as long as microwave minutes.