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Wow!!! Thank you guy on Facebook I went to high school with and haven`t spoken to in 14 years, you really changed my mind about this upcoming election....
I`m bringing sexy back...if I only I can remember where I had it last....
I would like to think I will die a heroic death, but it`s more likely I`ll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I`m not expecting them to be practical
I’m awkward when people compliment me. “Nice hair” “Thanks, I grew it myself”
Men who claim women belong in the kitchen definitely do not know what to do with them in the bedroom!
The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies I’m going to pay with.
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
I suppose cougar is a better term than old whore.
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name "fire place"