Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren’t invited to.
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
When you`re accused of buying someone a gift last-minute at Walgreens, don`t reveal you actually went to Walgreens a month ago.
It’s always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they’re always taking things literally.
I love Alfredo sauce ... Unless you`re a dude named Alfredo.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
You know you`re fat when you run out of breath eating.
TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
Why doesn`t someone invent a clear toaster? Then you could see how toasted your toast is while it`s toasting.
Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
News flash! someone just found Carmon Sandiego!
You couldn`t handle five minutes in my head.
It must suck when billionaires wake up feeling like a million bucks.