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why earn money when it comes easier when you just ask
I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground, so I threw my fries on the ground too.
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning.
You tell me I`m crazy, the voices tell me I`m not. 4 against 1, so........
All my friends are getting married and having kids or getting really good at video games.
I`d like to change and get comfy, yet that requires effort. Ever feel this lazy?
drinking 2% milk, wondering what the other 98% is...
Some of you ladies need to ease up on the makeup until we get this clown situation resolved.
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?
Personal trainer said we`re going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese...He hates me.
My friend David had his ID stolen yesterday. We just call him Dav now
If House of Cards has taught me anything it’s that I need a friend who owns a rib place.
You never know how many people you dislike until you have to name your child.