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I`m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
You’d think “attractive neighbor leaves curtains open” would appear in more real estate listings.
There’s no excuse for my behavior, so I’m drinking until I have one.
The only technique I`ve mastered from watching cooking shows is screaming and swearing at everyone in the kitchen.
I`m in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I`m at the liquor store.
The problem with the girl of my dreams is that she’s never around when I’m awake.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre
It`s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she`s on a whole other level.
Personal trainer said we`re going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese...He hates me.
I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I`m in.
I`m going to become a hermit as soon as I find a cave with a decent wifi connection.
I don`t think I have enough money to find long everlasting love.