Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The Home Alone house is up for sale for 2.4 mil. I’d pay 2.5 (if I had it) just so I could say, “Keep the change you filthy animal.”
I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.
I got up at 7:00 this morning .. lather rinse repeat ... How long do you have to do this for?
I get so confused when I`m about to watch a TV show or movie and "For Mature Audiences Only" appears on the screen. Can I watch or not?
I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
There’s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.
Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.
If a man repeats everything a woman says, word for word,,,,,,,, is he still wrong?
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
Orion`s Belt is a huge waist of space.
This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.
I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke break a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
It’s sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his crappy ACME gadgets, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.