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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
If you can`t handle me at my worst...I don`t blame you, neither can I.
life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
Sex ed class should be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
why would you go outside? that`s where bugs live
Helpful tip #12: Never buy all the tools you need to kidnap, kill and bury someone from just one store.
Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.
My son asked what he should say if a bully said to give him his lunch money. I said tell him you left it on his moms nightstand.
Who ever said, "The customer is always right", clearly never worked with the public a day in their life.
When one door closes another one opens. Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that’s how doors work.
The future is that time when you’ll wish you’d done what you aren’t doing now.
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.
This is my leftover status from Thanksgiving.