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I once found a whip, a mask, a baton and handcuffs in my Mother-in-Law`s draw... who knew she was a superhero. Nice!!!
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable.....
I get so confused when I`m about to watch a TV show or movie and "For Mature Audiences Only" appears on the screen. Can I watch or not?
Steve Jobs` text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!
Don´t call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious"
Didn`t win the lotto again ... send prayers.
You know what`s beautiful? Read the first word again.
LOQ "Laugh Out Quietly" because LOL is giving me a headache
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Are you reading this from a toilet? I`m writing this from one.
I’m so happy people can’t hear what I’m thinking.
SEX! Now that I got your attention. I just wanted to say, "Have a great weekend!"
Is it ok to ask a very pregnant librarian if she`s overdue?
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?