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Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
The covers of this book are too far apart.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
It’s almost 2015, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
Sometimes people try to expose what`s wrong with you, because they can`t handle what`s right about you.
At Starbucks drive up window. Me: large iced chai please Them: you mean a venti? Me: large iced chai. Them: we call a large a venti. Me: Do you want a large tip or a venti tip? Them: large iced chai, please pull up.
It`s not that people use only 10% of their brains, it`s that only 10% of people use their brains.
Lord please give me the strength not to go all Dexter on this mother f%#*er ... Amen
if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.
I fold down my laptop screen very slowly at night so I don`t squish you guys.
I want to sleep tighter
When I`m bored, I like to superglue Doritos to my cat and make it run around the house like a stegosaurus.
Kinda funny how the Mayans said we were all gonna die in 2012, but they all disappeared way before us.
I`ve run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon.