Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m allergic to stupidity ... which is why I break out in to sarcasm.
Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in cages. We just want to set them free and play with them.
Do NOT accept friend requests from Hormel Foods, it could be spam...
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
I’ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn’t need my assistance, so I’m going back to bed.
Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.
Since you no longer have a calendar I`d like to notify all the Mayans that it has been one year since the end of the world.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
I love Christmas presents wrapped in bubble wrap... it`s like two gifts in one!!
Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It`s like a tattoo that yells at you.
Leaving the house on a Monday morning would be so much cooler if someone would yell "Aaaaand Action!" as I walk out the door.
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
This woman just stared at the beer in my cup holder, like she`s never seen a cup holder on a grocery cart before.
It takes so much self control for me not to write, "you sure about that?" under Facebook engagement announcements.
COLLEGE STUDENTS: if you`re looking for a job, your career center lists thousands of openings you don`t have enough experience for.