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Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
I recently added squats to my daily workout routine and I did so by moving my beer to the bottom shelf in my refrigerator.
I put my head between my legs and lean forward.....thats how I roll
When grown-ups tell kids they have a lot of energy, they really mean that they’re being annoying little bastards.
The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks.
If your girlfriend has $15 and you have $30, your girlfriend actually has $45.
Sometimes I can`t figure out if I`m in pre-school... high school.. oh wait, I`m at work.
I finally finished my 4,000 piece jigsaw puzzle. It reads- " Get a life you sad F**k "
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.
If we`re all expected to have sex with our Valentine on Valentine`s Day, I`m truly dreading Presidents` Day.
An empty fridge is a sad fridge.
It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs telling deer where to cross the road.
The toughest part of a lesbian relationship is deciding who gets to be the one who`s always right.
This movie has "adult content"? So, they`re gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?