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why earn money when it comes easier when you just ask
I hate having to work for a living. But I hate starving even more.
It`s so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names.
I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.
As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, cake... You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad."
How do we know that all the ancient Greek sculptures aren`t just victims of Medusa?
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 10% of battery remaining.
I wouldn`t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station
I bet cats are mad they can’t sit on televisions anymore.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. They are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.
Women say all men are dogs, but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.