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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I screamed a Brazilian times during that waxing.
I bought one of the "Books for Dummies" for 50% off, but I needed help to figure out what the price was.
I like you as a friend. Well, more like as a friend of a friend.
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pac Man, for 25 cents that bitch would swallow balls til she died!
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
Cake and pie can’t compete. If you put candles in a cake it’s birthday cake. Put candles in a pie and someone’s drunk in the kitchen.
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
Anyone else has a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags?
I thought we were both kidding when we made plans for me to watch your kid.
How long do I have to stand in front of the microwave for to become a member of X-Men?
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer ... That`s all.
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....
roses are red.... my name is dave...this poem makes no sense.... microwave...