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They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
OH NO !,,,,,,,,, I just realized I can`t stop calling the addiction hotline....
I often worry about the safety of my children ... Especially the one who is talking back right now.
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.
Why does `beans` only mean secret when it`s "Don`t spill the beans?" Why can`t I say I have a dirty little beans to tell you?
Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE!? Neighbor: Get out of my house! Me: You`re not even guessing.
Just saw a guy driving while eating ice cream. F*cking sundae drivers.
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
That awkward moment when you are killing it on Mario Kart & then realize you are looking at the wrong side of the screen.
You call them ‘naps’ but I prefer to call them ‘alcohol-induced aftershocks`
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time
Shaving your head is the "You can`t fire me because i quit" approach to male pattern baldness.
roses are red.... my name is dave...this poem makes no sense.... microwave...