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So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
Haters are my motivators(:
Republicans are red, Democrats are blue. The government is shut down cause neither one gives a damn about you.
Not to brag, but I don’t need to smoke pot to get the munchies.
Don´t worry ... It only seems kinky the first time.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
FB friends, please let me know if you own one of those cool little Smart cars so I can unfriend you.
Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let`s get this thing done.
“I saw that.” -Karma
Babies are really cute until you meet one that`s not a picture.
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.
Friday. The golden child of the weekdays. The superhero of the workweek. The welcome wagon to the weekend. The famous F word we thank God for every week.
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to D!ck, Especially since his name is Steve.