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I never talk to myself......But I do have some candid conversations with the other personalities!
Wednesday, you’d be a lot cooler if you were Friday night.
"10 Totally Epic Reasons Why You`re Going Straight to Hell" - 2013 version of Ten Commandments
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit? Asking for a friend.
Fart jokes ain`t funny, they stink.
is battling with eyelids
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
Don`t know what to get your husband for Christmas? Whatever you give him, give it to him naked. Problem solved
Sometimes I feel like people I know are just using me for my likes.
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
In reference to why men can sleep with lots a women and it’s fine, but women can’t sleep with lots of men or else they’re whores. “If a key opens a lot of locks, it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by a lot of different keys, it’s just a sh!tty lock.”
I`m not funny, I`m just really mean and people think I`m joking.
The pizza guy just said "see u tomorrow" ...
I wish that just once, the clerk would just put the Monopoly money in the drawer and hand me a receipt