Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
BEER! The official sponsor of hot days!
Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
Just once, I would like to see a person on a daytime talk show say, "dad was a good parent...mom was a good parent...the problem is me, I`m just a sh!thead."
I don`t really work, I just kinda stand around and be awesome.
I never thought I’d be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
You know what’s huge in Japan? ..Sumo wrestlers. ;)
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my GF how her day was.
"I`ll let you know" = I need more time to come up with an excuse
It`s called Wal-Mart because the Center for Disease Control was taken.
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
Bowling is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn`t let you skip.
It was so cold today the local flasher was caught "describing" himself to women.
Guy- What`s your sign? Me- Stop
I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting ... What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?