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Save your little napkin, bartender. I don’t plan on having this drink long enough to set it down.
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I`d say there`s a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep.
When I was your age we had to open all doors by ourselves ... None of them knew we were coming.
Ordering a water with lemon says “I’m too cheap to buy a drink, but I still like a little zing.”
I’ve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I’m gonna “come on down” whether they call my name or not.
Why can`t the ice cream man just get a freakin liquor license already
What a lovely winter we`re having this spring.
Just knowing that I have successfully pissed you off again makes my day.
Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child
If money can’t buy happiness explain pizza.
For some reason, I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why!
All I know about sex is from Internet Porn, I`ve tried everything except `Buffering`.
I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone.
Anyone who calls it a "day off with the kids"... Either has no kids or doesn`t know what "day off" means.