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If you are being attacked by a bunch of clowns the first thing to do is go for the juggler.
I may contain scenes of violence, nudity and foul language.
I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
This would be a "Good Morning!" status update, but it`s not, because morning sucks.
I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.
My parents preferred my imaginary friend over me.
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet
I know 3 facts about you: 1.You can’t say ‘M’ without your lips touching. 2.You’re trying it now looking like an idiot. 3. Now you’re smiling
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.
Hoping that Steve Harvey isn`t the one announcing the winning Powerball numbers tonight!
My local news station says it gives us " news when it breaks " ...I want unbroken news!!
I`d like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought: "Those ba$tards are hiding something delicious in there I know it."