Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
Saw some idiot put a water bottle where the Pringles go on the treadmill.
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should all acquaintance be forgot and somebody refill my wine.
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
When the girl working the counter says "would you like fries with that?" say.."are you calling me fat??" then burst into tears. Free meal.
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
The differance between flirting and sexual harrassment ... If you`re attrative, it`s flirting.
new years resolution #1: stop losing the powerball
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.
If the cupcake has some green sprinkles on it, it`s a vegetable, right?