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If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
Contrary to popular belief, it`s actually the fat that makes you look fat. It was never the dress
I drive everywhere but for some reason my shoes still wear out, it’s like there’s just no reward for laziness.
I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
I can`t get the cork off my dinner.
I don`t really want to hear about the marathon, unless of course, they add an element of suspense ... Like a Bear at mile 3
Billion dollar idea: A phone that charges using body fat!
What do women say when they are actually fine?
Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there`s an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH"..
The number of things that are *NOT* rocket science is staggering.
Your parents taught you to wash your hands after you pee. My parents taught me not to pee on my hands in the first place.
Picking your nose doesn`t make you a bad person. .... but what you do with the booger will define you.
An important phone call is something that occurs when there`s no better excuse to ignore someone.
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.
When you are on a first date and she says to you: "I want you to treat me like a movie star," it is vitally important to establish which type of movie