Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
I`m glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It`s really come in handy this parallelogram season.
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself" -- 5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
There’s a very short list of things you can have in your hand while running without looking crazy.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.
"Friendzoned" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
Porn & love songs. Destroying reality forever.
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves ...That`s where I come in...
I wish life had a “rewind-the-weekend” button.
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever