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I don`t care about your status...
You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
I’ve come to the realization that the trash goes out more than I do.
I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.
Watching movies alone sucks. There´s no one to ask, "What did he just say? Who is that guy?"
Don´t worry ... It only seems kinky the first time.
Sometimes I`ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I`ll be like, "oh no, that can`t be right."
I`m sorry we fought ... I hate it when you`re wrong.
This is my first status of 2017. Yeah, I thought it would be better too.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
If I was rich, I´d do nothing all day from a much nicer recliner.
I was the only one that cared when Jimmy cracked corn.
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.