Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.
Mother mosquito: Hey kiddo, how was your first flight? kid mosquito: Great mom! Everyone was clapping for me.
I swear, if my memory gets any worse I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
If someone`s mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I`m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment...
99.9% of lol’s are lies.
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
I`ve noticed that the squirrels are gathering nuts for the winter. Couple of my friends are missing...
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
I only drink coffee because cocaine is too expensive.
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button
Boobs make me forget about all the bad things in the world.