Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can tell how a persons life is going by how they press the crosswalk button.
Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.
For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
I`m glad it`s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
I’m pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!
Why are Doctors so afraid of apples?
why waste your brain cells to think of a comment when you can just like someone else`s?
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
The wife almost caught me browsing on Facebook, but I quickly clicked over to a porn site. That was close.
Whenever I select next-day delivery for an online purchase, I imagine someone, somewhere, yells "CODE RED, CODE RED" really loud then people scurry like mad.
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.
It`s a good thing the gas station is open today...... I still have time to do my Christmas shopping.
People who say they suffer from constipation are usually full of sh!t.
It`s like my pastor always says, "Who are you and why are you stealing wine?"