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I think I`m gonna shave my legs so that there`s less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.
Ahhh another Monday at work...... I`m having as much fun as a colorblind person playing Twister!
Alcoholic? No. Self-appointed booze quality control technician? Yes.
I put on my pants like everyone else. Right after the security guard in Target says "Sir, we`re going to have to ask you to leave."
I`m an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want
Thank goodness I`m loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can`t blame it on the alcohol.
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
Marriage counseling - because sometimes your spouse needs to hear from a professional that they are being an a$$
You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
Apparently "whiskey and wild women" is not an acceptable answer when asked what your weaknesses are during a job interview.
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.
gua suka sama kamu